historical high-stakes drinking constest and really nasty cookies

Okay, it's been almost a week since this trip, but better late than never....

Last Sunday, we all five squoze into the car and drove into Bavaria to visit Rothenburg ob der Tauber , jewel of the Romantic Road. Rothenburg is a remarkably well preserved walled city. It has the requisite split timber structures and narrow, winding cobblestone streets. The medieval wall around the city seemed almost entirely intact, though not as tall as I expected. Demonstrating my idiocy, I said "That doesn't seem like such a great defense; even a short ladder could get you over that." Trey replied, "Well, you should probably imagine people standing on top of the wall with battle axes and bow and arrows, before getting too confident." Oh, yeah.

In the guidebook, we read the story of how Rothenburg was saved from destruction (thus allowing it become a major tourist attraction, even in cold weather). When the town was threatened with destruction in the 1600s, the invading general offered to spare the town if anyone could drink 6 pints of wine in one go. The town's mayor was apparently up to the challenge and the town was safe! Though there are various commemorations of this event through the year, we only got to see the plaque at his former residence.

We walked around the old city, stopped in some shops, had lunch, and saw the town hall and St. Joseph's church. Then we walked outside the wall to get some spectacular views of the Tauber. Looking back, we could also see the long stretch of city wall.

Finally, we sampled the local specialty, schneeballen (=snow balls). I had had these once before at the Heidelberg Christmas Market and didn't think much of them. But, I thought that maybe they had suffered from packaging and storage and would be better in the actual town that was famous for them. Alas, I was sadly mistaken and not even chocolate or nut icing could save these dry, airy, rather tasteless confections. You can try making them yourself, but what we learned in Rothenburg indicated they are best when stored for at least 10 days to let the flavor "ripen". I now suspect that "ripen" was mistranslated and should have read "disappear".

When the religious right purges the scientists

Double bock beers, which I have been enjoying recently are typically given names like Salvator, Celebrator, Consecrator, Revelator...you see the pattern. Today at work I was discussing a calculation with someone and stumbled on the name my double bock will carry when I get around to brewing. It will be called "Integrator" and it will be a true melding of all of my grand nerdiness. I cringe, a little, at putting this on the net, since it could be used against me in the future when scientists have to hide from the jack-booted soldiers of the religious right.

I used to work for a physicist (who really reminded me of the actor Wallace Shawn) who liked to predict the following scenario, paraphrased here, but based on his original:

When the religious right gains sufficient control they will want to purge the scientists in an effort to get rid of inconvenient things like the truth. They will discover who has scientific leanings and educations by placing a gun against the suspect's head and telling the following joke: "What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elephant rhino sine theta." If you speak the answer or smile even a little tiny bit, it will be the last thing you do. If uou are befuddled, then you will be free to go. If you ask to have it explained to you, you will get put in with the gay people for reeducation.

liklihood that i will return: 98%

Finally went to one of the krabble gruppen (=crawling groups=mom and toddler or baby groups) in our town yesterday. I've known the locations and times of a couple groups for about for about a month but for various reasons/ excuses made it for the first time yesterday. Here's a breakdown:

Number of women who engaged me in conversation in English: One, despite Trey's promise that almost everyone would speak some English. Fortunately, she was super friendly and even gave me her phone number and address. Amazing.

Number of women who attempted to engage me in conversation, but aborted said attempt after realizing that "a little" German means "almost no German" in my case: Two.

Number of German kids' song with hand motions that I didn't know: Five. This is how they start every meeting. I considered asking someone where I could find the words to the songs, but realized it would be like asking an American mom "So what book will teach me the words to this 'Itsy Bitsy Spider' song?"

Median age of children: 2.5, which is a little unfortunate for 9 month old baby Ellis.

Number of cool store locations revealed: One, apparently there is a second-hand shop for children's books and toys in the next village over. Excellent. This alone may outweigh the discomfort of this whole adventure (if going 4 blocks from my house can be termed that).

yup, it's a bulleted list

• We have house guests this week, which has been fun. Sunday we took a drive over to Bavaria. Possibly tomorrow I will get my act together enough to post pictures.
• I finally bought Ellis a toothbrush yesterday. I had him in the mei-tai at the store and let him hold the tooth brush while I shopped. Somehow, he managed to get the cardboard of the package under one of the stud earrings I was wearing and rip it right out of my ear. He managed this with such surgical precision, that it didn't even hurt. Tragically, that earring (a gift from Catherine) is long gone now.
• Ellis does not like having his teeth brushed.
• My mother's occasionally updated blog now has pictures of newly born, super-cute goat kids.
• Ellis's self-feeding skills are really improving, which is fun to watch. He's especially loving avocado recently, though buying a ripe but not rotten one is not always easy for me.
• Good news for spring: my kale seeds have sprouted. I was afraid that in the house, it might be too cold and not sunny enough.
• Bad spring news: I think bees have taken up residency in the bricks of our balcony/ back porch.
  

Winter got here late

This week we saw the effect of elevation on precipitation and the effect of precipitation on Germans. We woke up this week to find a couple of inches of snow in our village. By the time I had climbed 90 meters up the mountain on my way to work, there was six inches of snow layered over ice and traffic was at a standstill. At the peak of the mountain we had close to 8 inches and 12 by the time the snow stopped. When I left work on the mountain side it was snowing like crazy, but when I arrived back down in Bammental it was raining and there wasn't a trace of snow left.

The snow was thick and heavy, coating the trees. The effect in the forest was beautiful, but many trees were damaged.

Frequent visitors to this site have heard me rant about the Germans, their cars and their fanatical devotion to snow tires in the winter. Being that this was the first snow all winter that was bad enough to effect driving (good thing they all dutifully put on winter tires in October), this was my first chance to witness the mayhem that 6 inches of snow can cause. First, the reason traffic was stopped up on the hillside as I tried to get to work was because a number of people were spinning their wheels unable to get moving again after stopping. This wasn't so much a tire issue or a road issue as much as an issue with people not understanding that they had to drive differently in the snow. So, we spent 45 minutes creeping up the mountain because several folks couldn't muster 9 miles an hour of road speed, even though the speedometer said that they were going 75 mph. (Rule of thumb: if the scenery isn't moving past the car as you drive, there is no need to shift into third.)

In addition, I noticed a couple of other things that run against the intuition Americans have about driving in snow. A number of coworkers told me they choose to drive the smaller car, if they have two, in the snow, because they are more comfortable closer to the road, worry less about killing someone else and generally would rather put the smaller and less valuable car at risk. People also took this mere six inches of snow as permission to reduce their work days to make sure they could get home before the roads "got really bad, because even winter tires are no guarantee."

The other humorous thing that happened because of the snow storm's late appearance, was that many coworkers had had their mechanics put their summer tires back on last week when they were in for oil changes and things. When these folks got up the hill to work and realized that things were going to get much worse in terms of road conditions, they all called taxis to get home, not wanting to risk the 2 mile drive down to their homes on summer tires! Better yet, their was as shortage of taxi service because most of the taxis had taken their snow chains out of the trunk when spring made a visit last week, and the taxi company wouldn't send them up the hill. (Chains for six inches!) So, the two taxi drivers who had chains and knew how to install them serviced the queue of people who were standing in the snow mere meters from their own @#$#@ cars, waiting for someone else to ferry their butts home.

Two tools and a revelation

A few things happened this week, but the crummy weather and the lack of Bridget and Silas have made me too crabby to write any non-melancholy blog posts. So, here's Ellis's take (via Trey) on getting the bikes ready for spring, assembling the new couch, and today's snowfall:

"Dad, that helmet makes you look like a real tool."

"I love IKEA! They send these little tools that are just my size and the instructions are all in pictures. I should be finished before papa gets home! That means no yelling."

"It's still out there, even when I am in here and can't see it. This literally shakes my whole world view."

ok- last post about baby outings

Our last two exciting adventures with Bridget and Silas....

On Wednesday we visted the Frankfurt Zoo and basically discovered that everything Bridget and I knew about zoology expired with our Ranger Rick subscription. My inability to distinguish between primates was seriously embarassing, thus any wikipedia links are included in this post for my own edification more than anything else.

The zoo had done a nice job keeping minimal obstructions between the animals and visitors using low fences and moats. The animal habitats were good but not great in most cases. The primate house was looking pretty old and didn't provide a lot of space, but they are in the process of constructing a "Bonobo Haus", which seemed enormous and we image will provide a new house for the gorillas and chimps as well.

They had some animals I don't remember ever seeing in real life before such as okapi, sun bears, and vicuñas. There were also some very active penguins which could be viewed both above and below water. One of the most interesting features was a bat house that we almost skipped. In fact it had all sorts of noctornal mammals living in an artificial night. It was amazing to see how active they were (it was feeding time during our visit) and get a look at animals such as bushbabies, two-toed sloths, aardvarks, and desert mice.

As with our visit to Marchen Paradeis, Silas maintained a stoic expression throughout the experience, though he was interested in watching almost any animal that moved. It was also kind of neat to see him try to classify the animals into groups he already understood: he called some of monkeys with obvious whiskers "cats" and zebras, giraffes, and donkeys were all "horse". He did genuinely laugh excitedly at two gorillas chasing and wrestling with each other. Another favorite was the hippopotamus, which slowly surfaced and sprayed water through its nose. Ellis was obviously less aware of what it was that we were seeing, but adamant that he should see it. So we spent a lot of time carrying/wearing him and pushing an empty stroller. He particularly enjoyed some of the fast moving nocturnal mice.

Thursday we visited the Bellamar swimming pool in Schwetzingen. It was a suprisingly extensive indoor facility with several pools designated for serious swimming or playing. There were a couple slides and fountains, a small play area for kids, and a deeper warm water pool for babies and parents. Though they have a large outdoor facility, only one small-ish heated outdoor pool was open, but could be reached by swimming through a "door" of vinyl strips that connected it to a small area of indoor pool. To top it all off, the whole facility had a sort of grotto theme that managed to be fun rather than sleazy-cheesy (see a panaramic picture here). Silas clearly loves the water, but Ellis was a bit more timid at first. Eventually, though, Ellis decided that swimming was fun and seemed to enjoy the feeling of bouancy and even splashed a bit with his cousin. Trey relayed our impressions of how nice the pool was to some of his non-German colleagues at work who said "Oh yes, the Germans love their swimming pools." So maybe every 5th German town has a pool like this?

Even more pictures in the same place as before.

Do it for the environment!

We all know that if more of us used public transportation, we would, in the course of dragging our butts across the surface of this planet, do less damage to it by reducing our carbon foot print and the release of some pollutants (although modern exhaust systems do a pretty good job on this count). So, I have a theory of why more of us don't take more public transit. It is because the busses and trains are full of something that many of us despise: the public.

Mimi Smartypants wrote recently of her unpleasant interactions on the bus (see paragraph 11 in the link). Today, I was yelled at by a German woman on the bus for having my dirty shoe over a seat...yes, that is right, not touching the seat, over it. I was sitting with one ankle on the other knee in a cramped part of the bus where another seat faced me. The foot attached to the anke, that was on the knee (attached to my leg, connected to my butt that was in the seat bolted to the floor of the bus whose wheels moved down the road...whoa, need to listen to some adult music tomorrow, sorry), hovered 2 inches above the upholstery of that other bus seat, which, I note, was impossible to use because it was too close to the opposite seat which was holding my ass. So this woman gets on the bus at the stop after mine and inspects damn near every seat on the bus before telling her husband to park it in the row behind me. Then as the bus starts moving she says, "Excuse me, excuse me, get your foot away from that other seat. It makes it dirty and ruins it. Don't you care?" I moved my foot, but didn't make eye contact or even another move other than rearranging my legs. Then, she spent the rest of the trip telling her husband how rude I was. Part of me wants to give her the benefit of the doubt because so many younger folks are rude to pensioners on the bus. They don't give up their seats on crowded busses and they do not show any deference to an older fella who needs an extra minute to get on the bus. On the other hand, it wasn't her fucking bus, and I have seen guys pour whole beers on the seats of the busses here not to mention the parents who allow their children to stand on the seats.

On the good side, my German is obviously improving if I understood all of this. And, she was just an old woman from a different time who saw me doing something on the bus that she didn't like. Maybe I am less like Mimi Smartypants and more like the punk kids in Mimi's story. At least that is how the woman who hollered at me probably saw it. But, why not be quietly annoyed and self-righteous? I am sure she wasn't much less annoyed by me after I moved it, because she dwelled on it in her conversation with her husband. And then I was annoyed too. How about we let the bus company worry about the bus? And, we try to just ignore each other on the bus, practice some basic personal hygeine before getting on and ask that the driver remind everyone that, at least on his bus, they are not the messiah nor are they to attempt to convince anyone that any particular historical person died for their sins. Ok? Do it for the environment people.

mein klein wasserbaby

Lots more picture and stories from the last bit of Bridget and Silas's visit forthcoming. For now, I must say I'm sad to see them go, but hope they're having a happy reunion with Orrin. At least it's only a few weeks until we all meet up in the Netherlands for tulip viewing and herring eating. Here's a picture from one of our outings:

Dogs eating needles

As many of you have heard, Scout had a little health scare recently that was deftly handled by her caretakers, John and Jessica.

Apparently, John looked down and saw Scout had something and as he went to take it, realizing it was a needle, Scout swallowed. Keep in mind that this is a dog who often passes on gourmet dog treats. What could have possibly been so good about the needle? Who knows.

So they loaded up and headed out to the emergency vet. The needle was clearly visible on the x-ray in her stomach and the vet recommended surgery, with an estimate of $2000. Using a scope might have been an option if Scout hadn't just had a nice big meal. When they got ahold of me, it was dawn here in Germany. I called the emergency vet from here and she pushed hard for surgery, saying that surgery was the only way to guarantee Scout's safety. She also assured me that the surgery was no worse than spaying a dog. So why does it cost 12 times as much? Admitedly, fixing a dog is rarely done in emergency conditions, but even the day vet guessed that the surgery could run to $1000.

We, Jess and Lise all cruised the internet looking for some ideas and discovered pretty quickly that there were a lot of possible remedies including feeding the dog cotton balls soaked in cream or liver. The idea being that the cotton would wad up around the needle and move it through. We also read several stories about dogs who had passed needles through their system and owner who paid for thousand-dollar surgeries that failed to turn up a needle at all. Also, this must happen pretty often, because I am sure only a fraction of the owners of needle-eating dogs write it up for the internet.

In the end, we decided that the emergency vet was practicing vetrinary medicine as one would practice human medicine: take no chances, spend a lot of money. The day vet they consulted sounded a little less focused on the surgical option, but said it was the best guarantee. John, a medical student, also learned that in humans, under these circumstances, they let it pass naturally if possible. So, we decided to wait a few days and John and Jess got to inspect poop. Apparently, they were pretty shitty at this because the next x-ray several days later showed no sign of the needle. Scout never missed a beat. The vet recommended that they keep her low key while they kept the poop vigil, which anyone knows is nearly impossible with this dog.

We are very thankful that John and Jess kept cool heads and while we all worried about her some, she is fine. The also had to arrange to keep someone home with her during the vigil, which we appreciate tremendously. Hopefully, Scout hasn't figured out that eating strange metallic objects means she gets someone to keep her company everyday.

For those of you have found this post by searching google with the string "my dog just swallowed a needle", keep in mind that the needle isn't a death sentence. Wild dogs obviously eat a lot of crazy stuff including sharp bone fragments. You obviously need to monitor the dog and the x-ray is probably a good idea. We had agreed that if, at the second x-ray, the needle hadn't moved substantially south, we would have gone ahead and had the surgery, since it couldn't be left high in the digestive tract where it could have done serious damage had she vomited. The big risk is a puncture which is likely to cause an infection and also could require immediate surgery. In terms of risk, the choice to wait was primarily a financial risk. We could have had the cheaper surgery with the day vet and avoided the possibility that emergency treatment could have become necessary and expensive.

Anyway, I am also happy to report that Scout seems to be enjoying her return to Michigan and seems to be quite content. We are very thankful to John and Jess for taking care of her, especially through this little situation.

weekend with the babies- part 2

Our village is on one side of a small mountain and Trey's workplace is on the other side. He drives over the (almost) top to get to work everyday. The very top of the mountain is known as Konigstuhl (=King's Chair) and has, of course, great views when the weather is clear. Konigstuhl can be reached by a fenicular railway that originates in the center of Heidelberg. There are various attractions including a falcon show, a big nature park with several hikes, and a Fairy Tale Park known as Marchen Paradies.

I knew the Fairy Tale Park was intended for kids, but beyond that we weren't sure what to expect. We paid a small entry fee and I managed to read enough of the signage to understand we needed 50 cent tokens to operate the electronic rides and so we bought a few of those too. We were pleased to find the park was of large but managable size and had a large variety of activities for young kids. There was quite a bit of playground-type equipment: slides, swings, merry-go-rounds, etc. There were also bouncy houses/ trampolines of several types and a miniature train that circled the park. Additionally, there were rides that ran on either electric power and people power. In the former category, one of our favorites was a track on which horses rode through a wooded area. Bridget says the picture of her riding with Silas reminds her of Bedknobs and Broomsticks, because it looks like they are riding through a real woods with the sun on their faces...but wait- they're riding a cartoon horse! For an example of a people powered ride, notice that Bridget is actually pedalling the dragon in the picture above. Though Silas seemed to be having fun, he appears to be really concentrating in all these photos. Maybe he was trying to figure out how everything worked.

Finally, throughout the park there were old fashioned animatronic displays (something like what I imagine being at Disney Land in the '50s) with voice-overs telling various fairy tales. We recognized some, such as Rumplestiltskin but a few were unfamiliar. The craziest one of these showed a man crouching at the hind end of a donkey catching gold coins in his hat. At first Bridget and I joked about it looking like the donkey was pooping out gold, but then realized it was actually a story about a donkey pooping out gold. Some follow up research revealed it was the Grimm's Fairy Tale Table, Donkey, Stick. In some versions the donkey spits coins, but apparently not in the original. We also discovered this story was the source of the magic table depicted in one of the favorite games of our childhood, Enchanted Forest. So there you go- Marchen Paradies is fun and educational!

More pictures from our day and the rest of Silas and Bridget's visit so far here.

weekend with the babies- part 1

Trey was working most of the weekend, which left Bridget, the babies, and me to our own devices (mwa-ha-hah). On Friday, Trey arranged a play date with the wife of one of his co-workers who lives in our village. Though she has a one year old son, I suspected the play date was as much for me as for Ellis. Bridget and I baked a cake and cleaned up the house and I actually felt nervous that if I didn't impress her with my domesticity she wouldn't like me or want to be friends with me. Ridiculous, I know. Anyway, she was really nice and hung out with us for a good chunk of the afternoon, just chatting and playing with the babies. She even claimed she liked the cake, though I don't think it was the kind of thing that is popular here. She also told us about a big sale of second hand kid's stuff that was happening the next day. She warned us to show up a half hour early so we'd have a chance at the good stuff.

Saturday we went grocery shopping in the morning and then to the sale in the afternoon. A small mob of people were gathered in front of the hall. I half expected screaming when they finally opened the doors, but people just filed in and started pawing through the clothes, which were sorted by size. They also had toys, bikes, cribs, strollers and all other manner of kid's stuff. Bridget and I realized we were woefully unprepared for this experience by our lack of a cohesive plan of attack and the presence of our children (when we ran into our new friend and her husband, they had left their baby at home, so as not to be slowed down). We both bought a couple pairs of shoes and I scored a 1 Euro baby bike helmet as well as a hooded light jacket. I wandered over to the toy area, hoping for some wooden blocks or something similar. I looked around for Bridget to get a second opinion on a couple possibilities, but she was nowhere to be found. Eventually I spotted her pushing an empty stroller. Trailing behind her was Silas on a green riding toy. Bridget informed me that it would be far easier for her to part with 3.50 Euros than for Silas to part with the "turtle." Indeed, he rode it through the check out area and the 5 blocks back to our apartment. Bridget claims it would've been her last choice of everything they had, but it was Silas's absolute favorite. His affection has yet to fade, though he is frustrated with his inability to steer properly while holding a sippy cup. I've tried to tell him that if he can smuggle it on the plane back to the US, Grandpa Mike will be happy to help him trick it out with lights, back-up alarm, running boards, and cup-holder. Personally, I doubt it will even be making it back to Ireland with him.
Report on Sunday's activities with more pics coming soon....

What's warm, fresh, aromatic and rises north of Heidelberg at 6 AM?

The smell of death!

This morning I rose at a 4:30 and drove to Mannheim at 6 am to collect 80 pig brains from a slaughterhouse. Unlike my previous experiences in America with mom and pop slaughterhouses that only do a few kills a day, this was a serious industrial operation killing 2500 pigs/day.

The smell of death permeated beyond the walls and it was familiar from the moment we opened the car. The staff, unlike in America, were helpful and handled most of the gross stuff. The only close call came when I realized I was standing in the path of a ceiling mounted track. I looked up and realized I was on the down hill end of the path followed by groups of hooks carrying about 25 sets or fresh steaming hearts, lungs and trachea and one such pile of gore was bearing down. I escaped in time, but many of the good old boys gutting pigs got a good laugh at my scurrying.

Today, the less initiated kept commenting on the smell. One said, "that doesn't smell like pork, is it the smell of brains?" Another commented that they noticed a less pentrating version of the same odor while harvesting mouse livers. Another said they noticed it when working with dead bunnies. After this discussion continued for better than 15 minutes, I decided to point out the obvious and said, "Don't you think it is probably the generic smell of death?"

Three Quarters

Well, for Ellis's nine month birthday post, I thought I would be posting new videos of him roaming the house. There are plenty of videos, but I bought the wrong card for the computer and can't download them. I promise that soon you will have plenty of video to enjoy, just not this week.

Ellis is developing rapidly. He has perfected his ability to pull himself up on furniture and cruise along from foot stool to couch to chair. There have been a few bad falls, but that is to be expected. He has clearly demonstrated the ability to crawl, but also clearly loathes this form of locomotion. He generally only uses it in an emergency. For him emergencies include needing to get over to something to pull himself up, seeing dad get out the guitar or seeing one of his parents eat something without offering it to him first. All of the extra exertion of pulling himself up and cruising around also makes him tired.

As far as eating, he has turned into quite a little piggy and expects a piece of nearly anything either of us put into our mouths. He still seems to prefer fruit to most other things but noodles are growing on him. His initial reaction to meat wasn't so great, but he accepts it pretty happily now.

He has also become more amenable to being put to sleep by his dad and often falls asleep on my chest in the morning for an hour or so before we all get up. This has become a necessary means of getting him to stay asleep for a bit longer in the morning. If we let him wake up he sits up, crawls around and generally finds ways to wake us up while endangering himself.

His taste in literature is evolving. For some time, his favorite was "That's Not My Tractor". This is a book full of tractors and each one has a textured feature that makes it clear that it isn't the correct tractor. Finally, there is a tractor with "shiny headlights" and that is the right tractor. I never expected to find such thrilling suspense in 10 pieces of cardboard. Recently, he has really come to love "Peek-a-boo Baby" which has several photos of babies hidden behind panels that he has quickly learned to open after one of us says, "Where's the baby?" He gets nearly giddy with the anticipation of discovering the baby behind the wash cloth or beach ball.

Generally, he is turning into a little boy, less and less a baby everyday. I expect will walk before his first birthday. He is snuggly and sweet and deeply interested in almost everything. Considering that he is related to me, he is almost happy-go-lucky.

so how bad has our maternal judgement gotten?

This is being allowed at my house....

Talkin' Things Over

Well, we apologize for the lack of a nine month birthday post for Ellis. It is coming. There is so much to tell and so many pics to choose from. Since the blog has been a little slow lately, here is a picture of the two cousins together.

"Silas, do you think this thing makes my ass look big?"
"No Ellis, I think your ass is big. Look how much you have stretched out the one I am wearing. "