Bidness Trip

It sure has been a wasteland around here lately. We have been quite busy and Rachel is having a lot of rage at people who don't seem to understand how to use the new round-abouts that have been added near our house. Of course, being experienced ex-pats, we never make a round-about phaux pas. Rachel claimed just this evening that she may kill someone in those round-abouts, and not with the car, with her bare hands.

I will try to write a post or two from the road as I take my first business trip this week. Maybe I will finally defend dove hunting on the internet. Maybe not.

What I had hoped to never become

I must now accept that this is indeed a fatherhood blog, at least 70% of the time. To cover the other 30% you can all look forward to my well-reasoned, not-at-all-blood-thirsty defense of dove hunting in the next few days.

In the meantime, Ellis continues to entertain. Rachel pointed a dove out to him on the wire while we sat on the patio eating supper tonight. I promptly mentioned that with a little luck, he might get to eat one in a couple of weeks and that he would most likely like it since his first one would be wrapped in bacon. Immediately Ellis told us, "I eeta dub. I wanna eeeeta dub."

Often we leave him in his bedroom, still awake with a couple of books, a sippy cup and a banana at the end of our bedtime ritual. Most nights, we find him asleep in some odd configuration. Tonight he was snuggling a faceless, but footed, Mr. Potato head and clutching a cardboard screwdriver and his sippy cup.

Incidentally, whenever he puts the baseball hat on the Mr. Potato head, regardless of other configuration, he declares, "Dat gampa Mike!"

It is something I vomited, isn't it?

Bella: It is good to see you again Ellis.
Ellis: Ah, yes, May in Dexter was a lovely time. Good ol' days I dare say.
Bella: S'pose so Ellis.
Ellis: Sure would like to see you a little more often. Try to recapture May.






Bella: Ellis, I don't know how to tell you. Those times will never come again.
Ellis: Oh, don't be so sure.
Bella: No, um....
Ellis: Is there someone else? Someone closer to your house so your mom doesn't have to drive you?
Bella: No, that's not it.
Ellis: Is it something I vomited? You know that almost never happens. I was just so, so taken with seeing you.






Bella: Ellis, it is over and this conversation is over.
Ellis: But..
Bella: I am leaving now.
Ellis: You have forsaken me. Forsaken, after I gave you the best 4% of my life. I know a month doesn't mean much when you are two and a half, but I don't remember a day before May1st.

A dull moment might be nice

Ellis continues to enjoy wearing clothes and other things too big for him. I have no idea where this face came from:

"I will put my foot in your ass."

Another example here. I find the combination of the hair and upside-down, over-sized glasses to be truly hilarious.

"Dad, can you show me how to take a derivative? Oh, and tonight, how 'bout Green's theorem?"

We took Ellis over for family swim at the pool near our house. From 5 pm till 6:30 they throw out all of the teenagers and only families are allowed. Ellis had a fabulous time. Here he is telling another kid off:

"I dare you to say that again twerp! C'mon then. I don't even need my dad to beat up your dad. I'll take ya both. Bring it!"

And we had a pizza picnic with Jodie, Jeff and cousins Holden and Bella. A fine time was had by all, except Ellis did throw up a lot of fruit. It all happened so fast that even Ellis was a bit stunned. He ended up in a too-big shirt of Holden's and his emergency shorts. We did some fishing among other things. Rachel managed some great picture taking, including the action pic of me doing my best to look like a serious fly-fisherman. Other pictures of the kids are being saved for the next photo essay in the series. Both boys seemed to think that fly-fishing was trying to catch flies.

Next up, toddler drama at the park.

A Saturday in Haiku*

*See if you can spot the one that isn't a Haiku. Note that many may be defective as I wasn't terribly conscientious about the rules. Like any multiple choice question, however, there is one answer that is better than the rest.

Inspired by the dog park:

Owner of fat dog,
do you think it fair for him
to bite her like that?

Your dog's boulder head,
will receive my foot's hot rage.
I hope he whimpers.

You are old and fat
and will never catch my ass,
even with the kid.

Do not get closer,
lest your balls desire treatment
like big boulder heads.

Life around the house:

"Are your undies wet?
Remember where the pee goes?"
"Da potty, o-kaayy."

Scientific explanation from Ellis:

Enn, my mouth eats it;
an it goes down da belly;
an comes out a poop!

From fishing:

Fishing has picked up on the Huron River. Last night the flies were thick and I caught many good fish, although I forgot how hard it is to fly fish after dark when you can't see where the line is.

Thoughts that go through my head:

If omnipotent,
a thought like, "Little bastard,"
ends my existence.

My control is weak,
and powerlessness saves me
from such a quick end.

Therefore, I conclude:
Job's God and Jesus's dad
were different guys.

And I often think,
"Why didn't I accomplish more?"
The answer is here.

"What were you doing
when he peed in his undies?
Haikus about what?"

Date Night

Thanks to Aunt Lindsey's undying patience for Ellis, Rachel and I had date night tonight. I had planned to go for Cuban food, but, big surprise, Rachel wanted sushi. I tried to dip my toe back in the sushi pond following my intense food poisoning of last Christmas, and I failed. I just can't eat the seaweed wrappers anymore. Rachel is very sad about this.

Following dinner, we went to the Crazy Wisdom Bookstore and Tearoom to see the Gypsy Nomads. You can hear many of their songs on YouTube, such as this one. They really seemed to have three types of songs: new age, French Folkie, Celtic Instrumental Romp. Most of it was really good.

Before heading upstairs, Rachel browsed the book section long enough to find a book that totally dismissed all complimentary medicine as snake oil and it really pissed her off. Then we went upstairs for the music and Rachel got an ice coffee and I opted for a piece of baklava the size of a sandwich. Since we got their pretty early, we had ample time to people watch. Our eyes fell on a thin 40ish woman with an advertising handbag for a place that apparently sells custom made, one-of-a-kind Faerie dolls that bear a striking resemblance to the Olsen sisters. Rachel didn't believe me that the handbag was an advert for the woman's business making Faerie dolls, "How do you know that she is the owner?" To which I responded, "Look at her shirt covered in faux leaves, she is like a tree Faerie in a protection program." (Not to mention Celtic knot rings!)

Anyway, we came home and looked it up on the old internets and sure enough....or....well judge for yourself: www-dot-gossamerglen-dot-com. (I am not linking because I don't want her to track back here.) Anyway, the image on the handbag is the image you hopefully have open in another tab right now. If I woke up with that thing flying around the room, I would probably crap my pants and throw it at the ugly thing.